Sorry, Utica, but you suck royally. My man-friend and I were driving back to Syracuse from Holy Trinity Russian Monastery in Jordanville (usual Sunday activity). Since we were starving after being fed a lent-friendly meal in the rectory consisting of boiled macaroni, canned fruit salad, and cabbage soup, we decided to stop in Utica, "The Rennaissance City," for lunch.
Big mistake. Man, this place is horrible--a decaying hell-hole off of I-90. We drove around for 40 minutes looking for anything that wasn't a Dunkin' Donuts or rundown convenience store to no avail. Everything was boarded up or closed. The streets were empty. There seemed to be a large number of law offices--so we suspected that most city residents are in jail or awaiting trial.
Finally, we stumbled upon a block near the Saranac Brewery that looked like it might have been kickin' about 20 years ago, but it's not even on life-support at this point--looks like the city just pulled the plug. Tell me, people of Utica, is there a single restaurant in your fair city?
We ended up eating at a "Macaroni Grill" called Babe's (I kid you not)--a sorta homegrown rip-off of T.G.I Fridays. The patrons looked sad in their tight jeans and cowboy boots. Our waitress had recently moved back to Utica from Arizona (for reasons unknown). We sipped on a rootbeer float, listening to hits from the 80s' (back when Utica was a happier place). Syracuse feels like Paris compared to Utica. I was happy to return.
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This is exactly the sort of no-holds-barred commentary the NY Times Travel section should be publishing. Why? I'm still suffering Utica nightmares. Had I known the level of despair that town reaps, we never would have stopped.
ReplyDeleteSergey and I stopped by Utica on out way to Albany and Saratoga Springs. Our impressions of the place were aptly summed up in a poem that Sergey composed:
ReplyDeleteЮтика-Хуютика.